Top 10 Signs That Your Bag Has Holes

1. Your 31-year-old lives at home and you still give him an allowance.
2. Your investment strategy is “zero interest for 12 months.”
3. When your credit card is stolen, you decide not to report it because the thief is spending less than you did.
4. You keep telling your spouse, “My checking account isn’t overdrawn, it’s underfunded.”
5. Your biggest achievement last year was hooking up your TiVo.
6. You think “Warren Buffet” is an all-you-can-eat restaurant.
7. Your life motto is “Oops, I did it again.”
8. You hope to live off airline and hotel points when you retire.
9. You think “socialism” is something you do at a party.
10. You like to gamble because actually flushing money down a toilet can clog the drain.

10 More Signs That Your Bag Has Holes

1. Donald Trump is your hairstylist and example of success.
2. To have your finances “fixed,” you contact a veterinarian.
3. Your retirement plan is centered on finding the end of a rainbow.
4. Your gospels include Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Oprah.
5. Your best business idea is teaching your goose to lay golden eggs.
6. You found your financial advisors through a psychic hotline.
7. You schedule a U-haul for your funeral so you can “take it with you.”
8. Your idea of a balanced portfolio is lottery tickets and casino gambling.
9. You wish there was a luxury version of macaroni and cheese so you could out do the Joneses.
10. You will be able to retire once your children qualify for Social Security.