1. Looking for a lifeguard? Ours walks on water.
2. “Keep using my name in vain and I’ll make rush hour longer.” –God
3. Stop, drop and roll will not work in hell.
4. Wal-mart isn’t the only saving place in town.
5. Tithe if you love Jesus. Anyone can honk.
6. You may party in hell but you will be the barbeque.
7. Looking for a sign from God? This might be it.
8. Swallow your pride. It contains no calories.
9. Our Sundays are better than Dairy Queen’s.
10. Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and people crooked.
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